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darjeeling_tea
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30th-Jan-2011 02:28 pm(no subject)
executor
curse morning wood. can it still be called that even though i woke up at 2?

i wonder how long this revival of my Star wars obsession will last. i'm almost done with the LOTF series (finally). i plan on reading the Fate series, but i feel like student teaching will start to take place of leisure reading eventually.

also i feel like i should read some non-star wars books maybe for a bit.

but there are so many i want to read!

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i'm not in form at all in terms of LJ. i used to be posting and using html like a champ. making icons and wooing people left and right.

i've just discovered that i have at least 4 blogs that i don't keep up with reguarly.




man, what happened america? you used to be cool...
9th-Dec-2010 07:31 pm - back again
tea2
I've really enjoyed becoming better at the harmonica.

i'm scared to graduate, but at the same time, i'm ready to get my own classroom (assuming I get a job at all). honestly, not getting a job right away would be fine with me.

it's strange how i go through phases of my fandoms/obsessions/etc. i've really delved into star wars again recently. who knows what brings it about?

probably an escapist thing. i start feeling depressed or moody so i slink off to another world. makes sense.

i wish things would've worked out with lauren. it feels alright to chalk it up to bad timing. like had she not had a boyfriend or something, or had we both not been stressed out by school and both of us not starting a crazy, insane, important part of our lives.

but it probably boils down to her having a boyfriend. i let myself get used. it's too be expected i suppose. when she's giving me back the same emotions and signals, how am i too resist? i'm only human. i feel bad for both of us.

in honor of two beautiful people who both had... deathdays? recently, here those two wonderful people are.



8th-Oct-2009 10:23 pm - fall break
tea
i think another trip up to pine grove is in order. i suppose the water is too cold to wade through at this time of year, which is a shame. it really connects you. i guess just a hike will do.

i don't know what's going on. i'm fine. just not in all aspects of my life.

i'm finishing up a speech about hare krishna right now. i love this topic. i think i may visit the center that i called at some point as well. it's in port royal PA, which i suppose is about 2-4 hours north of home.

i hate this feeling of seperation.

the office tonight was wonderful. really made me smile.

i hope it can be like that.
3rd-Sep-2009 11:04 pm - week
yellow
i've been having some weird experiences when first waking up all this week. whereas i'm used to the pattern of last semester when i would wake up, find i could spare to sleep an extra 15 minutes, and then have that time pass very, very quickly.

the opposite seems to be happening this semester so far. i'll find that i have say 10 minutes and when i put my head down to sleep, it's an enjoyable experience. there's no unfair jolt of what feels like 3 seconds worth of relaxing. in fact, i've found myself checking the clock just in case that i didn't set the alarm for the extra time.

maybe it's a good sign.

i'm not sure how this semester will go. i'm not academically unsure (although my public speaking course seems like it might be a little daunting) but rather socially and emotionally.

i seem to be at a comfortable enough point in my classes and my stay at west chester that i'm beginning to recognize and acknowledge people that i've shared classes with before. also i think soccer will hopefully broaden the experience.

emotionally is a completely differnt story. i'm not sure i want to think about it right now.

i'm quite content to hole up in my room for long periods of time by myself. i enjoy reading, watching movies, playing games, playing music, and listening to music.

i'd like to visit pine grove this weekend just by myself. the venture that chelsea and i took last week was very enjoyable. not only did i feel like it helped chelsea and i connect, but thinking to this one moment really makes me smile.

we were wading up the creek (stream, etc.) and it was around sunset. we came up around the bend ("just around the riverbend!") and the sunlight was glistening off the water making it sparkle. we went a little further up over a fallen tree and found a wild raspberry plant. i don't usually enjoy raspberries but these were some of the sweetest, juiciest raspberries i've ever tasted. not soon after, chelsea (being chelsea) managed to catch a gorgeous frog.

i love the song 'kafari' by sigur ros. it's a very good late night, zen, mellow song.


i can't wait for fall leaves
31st-Aug-2009 06:45 pm - back
max
things just feel different this year. i think it's because kenny's gone. there's always that saying, 'you don't know what you've got, until you lose it.' the new guy seems alright, i just don't know yet. i guess it hasn't even been a week yet so i shouldn't judge too quickly.

i feel lonely though.
13th-Oct-2008 03:55 pm - meh
help!
things are looking pretty good.

this weekend (not over officially) has been pretty up and down. i don't want to go into details.

i enjoyed it though all over.

i'm starting my cure which is going well so far as of today.

i feel like i've dissapointed my family, which as we all know is much worse than just making them mad. i just want to take some time to spend with them, which i've neglected to do.
9th-Oct-2008 12:05 am - home
tea2
i don't know why but i just have such a hard time getting to sleep. i guess i sleep too much and then i have way too much energy at night. also i just eat and eat and eat, which will catch up with me eventually.

i hope i havent' gained weight. i did some crunches last night and i guess i should make it a habit.

again i'm enjoying my history class a lot but i feel like when it comes test time i'm not going to do as well as i'd like. i know this information and i love how i'm making all the connections and i love piecing it all together, but the pressure of an essay format test just gets me so nervous i can't do it right.

i want to go home.
30th-Sep-2008 11:05 pm - eh
tea
i thought i had TMS (look it up) and i guess i do to a certain extent, but i tried normally tonight and i felt it was fine. i think if i stick to the habit of doing it normally then i should get back to "normal."

man fuck sociology, now i can't use the word "normal" normally. haha. it makes sense, it's just one of those things that makes you think even more. which isn't bad, but when i just want to say a quick point i have to make sure that i'm being correct.

that doesn't really make sense.

oh and i had a child development test today and i think it went well. every now and then i get really excited about teaching. being a positive male role model. ever since my dad made the point to me about how the kids in our neighborhood without dad's seemed screwed up i've thought about it a lot. and i feel like being a male elementary teacher will help.

obviously that age range is an important one for kids and i think a male role model is needed to instill important values in young men. and i want to impart some things i've learned on them.

i guess then you have to take into account the ethical question of instilling your beliefs. is it right? now i just sound like a topic for my ed. pysch class.

i'm doing well.
25th-Sep-2008 08:00 pm - sex
tea
oh my.
23rd-Sep-2008 04:48 pm - ok
tea
i'm doing a lot better. i think the stress from that test caused the whole freak out these past couple days.

i just need to focus on the good things. i have an amazing girl in my life who loves me and i love her to death too.

i've realized the root of the problem really is my insecurity and my inability to feel good about myself. but i'm starting to feel better about myself.

i'm going to be an elementary teacher. i'm going to be a good male role model in kid's lives. i'm a pretty good musician. i care about people and issues. my intermural soccer team has started practice and we won our first game by default.

i have a great apartment to live in and great roommates. i have very supportive parents who love me and i love them. i love my sister a lot too and she's very supportive, even if she can be a huge bitch.

aaron seems down that i left temple and sort of left him on his own. i feel sort of bad, but i'm so much better here at west chester.

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